At the Foot of the Cross

Yesterday, was to be rest day for the daily walk/jog, I did that yet, I had the hardest time getting going. I dragged my feet all day. The first of two times my feet actually left the floor was when the Bathurst SPCA said we were approved and we could go get Kody. I literally leaped for joy. I was so excited! That's probably why I cried today when we both, DH and I, accepted that now, was not the right time to buy a dog. We would be best to put the money in things to finish the house so we can get our mortgage. It was hard to accept, we all wanted to have Kody. I'm thankful that there was another family looking at him so he will have a home soon.
By the time we would of drove up to Bathurst and back, paid for the dog, got his rabies shot, which was required and his tags it would of cost the same as what the spindles are costing to finish the railing for the stairs. This would not of been a good example of being good stewards.
We are also experiencing another illness in the family which could be deadly, we don't know if it's before or after Christmas. The results should be in by the end of next week.
It's only been 2 years, in October, since my husband's father passed away with lung cancer, my grandmother who was 95 died of breast cancer this fall, and now perhaps another member of the family has cancer.
Sometimes life seems crazy, almost in vain. There are battles no matter where you turn, Christians who allow themselves, including me, to be used as a tool for Satan and cause division, strife and mislead those who are not saved. "What is this all about?" we could ask ourselves but it needs to be all laid at the foot of the cross. Our struggles, our hurts, our fears, our insecurities but especially, those who we pray for and try to lead to Christ. That's what it's all about. Being willing to trust God, willing to be used as a vessel, willing to run the race in a way that pleases God and draws as many people to Christ as possible.
It's hard to separate our human duties and spiritual duties sometimes and find the balance but I have found that when I lean on God and just trust in His decisions for my life, spend time in His word and in fellowship with Him, I am much more willing to just follow.
We need to be willing, to be willing.