How God used my son Jacob.

I finished reading the whole bible once again so I started back in Genesis this morning, after reading Proverbs 17. I'm always amazed how God can show a new thing every time you read something again. The first chapter, as you know, talks about how the universe came into being. About 6000 years ago, over a span of 6 days, God created everything and rested on the 7th day. Then in chapter 2, it's broken down into a bit more detail, almost like zooming in, you see more detail but it is a recap. Genesis 2:5 says, "And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and [there was] not a man to till the ground." I found that very interesting... before things could grow, it had to rain and the ground needed to be tilled.

Yesterday, I spent time tilling my flower garden. The ground was amazingly hard considering we had had quite a bit of rain thus far. I used a tool called the "CLAW" the bottom part is the part that goes in the ground and looks like a few "W"s, a claw. Then there is a broom like handle with what looks like handle bars from a bicycle on top. (Sounds like some of the descriptions from the book of Ezekiel eh? lol) I had to step onto the claw part of the tool and pushed down so I could actually get the claws into the ground. Then I had to really work hard at twisting the "CLAW" to actually break the fallow ground. Why was I doing that? For three most important reasons: to loosen up the earth, allowing me to take out the weeds WITH the roots, to allow the rain to penetrate the ground easily and nourish the plants and third, so that the plant can also easily receive the nutrients/vitamins of the sun which could better travel through loosened ground. Here's the comparison. We, like the plant, can't grow spiritually without the ground of our heart be rained upon and tilled.
Let me give you one of many examples that God used in my life to till the ground of my heart and you'll better be able to see the purpose in it. It's the morning after I had the ultrasound for our third baby, Jacob. My doctor just finished telling me that our baby was a boy but there were complications. They could only see one kidney but if it was healthy, he could live a healthy life. Then came the heart dropping news. The baby only had one half of his pelvis, no right hip and no right leg. I was shocked! Things like this only happen to other people. How could this be? My world came crashing down. I was devastated. I didn't understand that God wanted to draw me closer to Him but for that to happen, the ground of my heart needed to be tilled; broken and loosened up. The doctor left me alone in the room to make a call to the children's hospital in Halifax. He wanted a more thorough ultra sound to see if there were any other "problems". While he was gone, I paced the floor sobbing. I was crying out to God in confusion; wondering why and how. Where was He in all this? What was going to happen next? I called unto God in need of help, comfort and direction. I heard Him speak to my heart, "I want to take you on a journey. Will you go?" I told Him, "If you walk with me, I'll go anywhere!" The doctor came in with the time and date I needed to be in Halifax and asked me the next question, "Since you are only 18 weeks, it is not too late. If you want, you can still abort the baby." I said no obviously. It was not for me to choose the "destiny" of this child. I was willing to allow God to till the ground of my heart, no matter how hard it would get because I knew that He would never leave me nor forsake me. For the past almost 8 years, God has helped me grow and experience life in a way I never imagine possible. I met amazing, and wonderful people that I would of never met otherwise. God had to till the ground of my heart in many other ways but, when I humbled myself and allowed Him to do it, trusting He had my best interest at heart, I always received blessings abundantly. He continues to bless me everyday, mostly with just having Him by my side.
I don't know what is happening in your life, but if you feel like the inside of you chest is being ripped out, that your life is out of your control and that you world seems upside down, maybe the Lord is trying to break that fallow (hard) ground of your heart and draw you closer to Him. Let Him, you'll never be sorry for it.

Isn't it funny?!?

You Know You're Getting Old When...

• All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• It takes twice as long to look half as good.
• Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
• No one expects you to run into a burning building.
• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
• When happy hour is a nap.
• When you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor
  
  instead of the police.
• When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure that the street is still there.
• When you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
• When your birth certificate says expired on it.
• You are proud of your lawn mower.
• You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."

Those who know me, know that I LOVE to laugh!! I love humor. I love having fun, the fast pace of life and being on the go. So it is no surprise to them that I think getting old is hilarious! Now... I have the right to say that because I AM getting old. :) :/ :( hee hee hee. Those who know me also know that when I'm nervous... I laugh a LOT! So, do I think growing old is hilarious or am I just nervous?????? NAH! I think it's hilarious.
I am having a reality check type of day and it's only 9:12 am.... could be a long day lol. I was getting ready, after having my 5k run, spending time alone with the Lord and showered. As I was drying my hair, I noticed, like every other time I blow dry my hair, those strong, feisty and proud grey hair. I felt almost surprised although I see them everyday! I sort of feel played a bad joke because in my mind and body, I feel 25 at the most and when I see my grey hair it spins me into a billow of thoughts about my life. Is this the definition of "mid-life crisis"? LOLOLOL, hahahaha!
The bible says, in Proverbs 20:29, "The glory of young men [is] their strength: and the beauty of old men [is] the gray head". It's only by reading the bible on a regular basis that a woman can learn that this scripture for woman could be translated that the glory of young women is their tight skin: and the beauty of old women is their wisdom. I might not have the shape or youthfulness I used to have but one thing I do have now that I didn't before is wisdom. Not a huge abundance of it but much more than when I was a young adult. So, as I look at my grey hair, although my hairdresser told me to say that I had chrome highlights done, I will continue to do what I can to defy gravity, without spending a fortune I must add, but remember that getting older is a privilege and honor. It is a responsibility to those coming behind us to show that life becomes more abundant, fulfilling and exciting. I guess in one word, growing older as I walk with the Lord is "richness". For those of you, like me, who's boat has left the youthdock, be encouraged and motivated to enjoy life at a new level. We don't have to be the Titanic but the Star of India. (It's worth googling... see photo)

Bruised reed and smoldering flax

We had an especially good service yesterday at church. We had a visiting family from Mississippi, (try finger spelling that for the deaf... it was comical) who sang and gave testimony of how each song was written.
I would have to say that my favorite part was when the husband shared about the reed and the flax. First, I guess, would be to explain what a reed and a flax is.
Reed: the straight stalk of any of various tall grasses

Flax:

"A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench".
I love how Mr. Miller explained that God is a God of restoration. He does not take the bruised reed; which represents us with all of our brokenness and being of not much worth, to destroy us. He takes us, mends us, uses us, makes us whole again through His forgiveness and love.
As for the smoldering flax. Sometimes, I can be compared to it. I don't have much oumpf in my life for the Lord. I sometimes get side tracked, distracted and while He's still walking, if you can picture it, I'm like a child who stops along the way to look at what is drawing my attention. God doesn't just leave me this way. He draws close to me with a large dose of compassion and lights the wick of my fire. Lights the way to my journey and sets me back on the right path.
God is so forgiving and loving. I wish I wouldn't get so distracted by the thing in this world. Sometimes my flesh gets drawn to things that I think I need but really I just want. God knows what's best for me, to keep my life from destruction and I need to trust Him.
16 years ago, by faith, through Jesus Christ, God the Father took me and made me His child. He comforted me, made me whole again, forgave me of the sinful life I was leading and put me on a path that I could of never dreamt of. He has been better to me than I could ever be. Why I get distracted? It's beyond me, but if I confess my sins, He is faithful and just to forgive me.
What an awesome, gentle, loving and compassionate God we have. The Creator of the universe, the Giver of many blessings.
I once was a bruised reed and am sometime a smoldering flax but God has made me new and has given me a passion for life and for people. What an awesome God!

Jacob and I both had a really good time last night. It was a three course meal and there was a silent auction in support of CNIB. Mr. McKeever told us his "story". His father was also legally blind, his brother went to the Olympics and McKeever is the first to be an Olympic and Paralympic athlete.
I really appreciate people who are not afraid to work hard and press toward a goal and be an inspiration to others. There is one thing he said last night that the Lord used to speak to my heart. He explained , "As skiers, we are in an individual sport but we each do our individual best to strengthen the team." I couldn't help but make the comparison with our walk with the Lord. We are Christians, who need to do our individual best by spending time in God's Word (the bible), in prayer and drawing closer to Him to strengthen the team, which is our church family. In a physical family, when one is sick, whether life threatening or just a virus of some sort, the family is weakened. The mother, usually, is taken with a greater burden to care for this individual. The father takes care of things that perhaps the mother can't get to like extra wash, if it's a flu, meals the other children. If it is a parent who is ill, either their income is affected, the caring of the house, the others in the family are neglected etc. The list goes on.
Four points that he gave as para-athletes, which is also very pertinent for Christians and their confidence in who they are in children of God were:

• labelling- not only society labels but we tend to label ourselves. If we will be know and believe in our heart and mind who we are, we can overcome the stereotypes and labels, therefore being more positive and confident.
• reach- We need to reach for the goal. Constantly on our tipy toes like children who try to reach for something that's out of their reach. There is a greater chance of getting what's out of grasp if you reach as far as you can for it.
  
• Ask for help- If you don't know how to do something or it is not your strength, don't be afraid to ask for help. Be willing to learn.
• Have fun!

All four of those points, in my opinion are very true as Christians too. It's hard sometimes to have a heart always fixed on Christ when the world flaunts it's fleshly pleasantries. It's hard to be an Olympic athlete and eat the right things when your family might be eating juicy, fatty hamburgers with fries and sugar pie for dessert. We need to fix our hearts on the greater goal, the big picture.
One day, those who have sincerely trusted Christ as their Saviour and have repented of their sin, will rejoice in heaven but how much better would it be if, while on earth, you had an impact on this world for Christ.
The apostle Paul often refers to our life here on earth as a race and that our crown, which was the prize after a race in those days, is not corruptible; it will not break because it is a heavenly crown, prizes for the things we've done on earth.
It was a good time last night. Jacob got to wear a real Olympic Gold medal. It was really heavy! Brian has a total of 10 Paralympic medals, 7 of which are Gold. Impressive! When I get to heaven, I hope I have at least that many crowns so I can place them back at the feet of Christ out of love and gratitude for the sacrifice He did for me on the cross, saving me from eternity in hell and setting my feet on a firm foundation; guiding me through life and giving me a purpose.
I am His athlete and God is my coach. I heard He's the best there is.... :)

Take Two!

Today I have two things I want to share. The first is not necessarily the most important but none the less is first. I am soooo excited for tonight! As you know, Jacob, our third child, was born missing the right side of his pelvis, hip and his whole right leg, yet he is a person who sees only opportunities. He recently joined ASEA which is an athletics association. He has been doing high jump, long jump, wheelchair racing, javelin and shot put. Tonight, Jacob and I are going to Brian McKeever's speaking engagement, which is a formal dinner. Brian McKeever is a repeated Paralympic Gold Medalist in Cross Country Skiing. You can't see me jumping around in excitement but I am. One thing I have learnt, since the Lord brought Jacob into my life, is that people decide what they want to do and being an athlete does not depend on the body's mobility but the person's "willability". I grew up doing all sorts of competitive sports like figure skating and cycling, none competitive like basketball, volleyball and field hockey and now, daily running 5 km, for examples. I can relate with pushing my body to its limits. I can not say that I have pushed it to the same point of an Olympic athlete but I can relate. So what makes an athlete? Here's what the dictionary says, ": a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina" I would like to push it a bit further. An athlete is someone who has the will to subject their body to extreme limits to bring his or her body under subjection to their will and desire for accomplishment of a certain skill. I respect that "able" bodied people do this but I would like to add that "disabled" bodies do it to a greater extent. EX: For Jacob, it takes him 300% more energy to go for a stroll compared to another child of his age and stature. When climbing the rope in gymnastics, Jacob had to use his arms only since that second leg wasn't there to help propel him, so he climb up to the same distance as the other children, some older than him, but with just the aid of his two arms. So, although a "disabled" person might seem weaker because his/her body is not what today's society considers "perfect" or "graceful", it is the will and the determination that makes you an achiever and an athlete. My hat is off to them because they are more of an athlete than I ever could be. This is why I am so excited to go to the dinner tonight, not only for the food that Samuel wants me to take pictures of (lol) but to be able to listen to a person who has competed with "disabled" and "able" bodied athletes and has risen to the top to represent our country Canada, at the Paralympics for the past several years. I really appreciate strong willed people.
The second thing is, what the Lord showed me in my bible reading today.
At the ladies conference this year, the main scripture was Micah 6:8, "He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" And this morning, I came across it again but I gained a deeper appreciation for it by reading the whole chapter. So many people, including myself, get caught up in the PERFORMANCE! PERFORMANCE!, but if you read Micah 6, you'll see that good performance, if you will, only comes when the heart is fixed and devoted. Through this chapter, we see the Lord is pleading Israel, saying what have I done to you? When did I burden you? I brought you out of Egypt, gave you good leaders, King Balak seeked to have me curse you because he was afraid of you because you had many victories of war etc. You ask yourselves about how to please me, "Should I bring a thousand rams or 10 000 rivers of oil, my first born for my transgression." NO!!! God says, it is simple, not easy but simple. Nothing complicated yet, something that is so contrary to our nature that we need to lean and trust on Him to be able to do this. Imagine that, God wants us to depend, trust and lean on Him... Don't we like it when our children don't understand why, but they just trust us and go with the flow? Why can't we just trust in God, that He knows best, and that He will guide if we let Him. These two ... topics, are more similar than I first realised. If the visually impaired athlete chooses to go against the leadership of his guide, he/she risks to hurt themselves and maybe even risk the life of others. They risk to loose the race above all. Both athletes and Christians, need to set our hearts and our affections on the Guide, the one who can see far pass what we can see and trust Him to bring us to the right finish line because not all roads lead to the same finish line.

What's wrong NOW Jonah?

Jonah is not what I would of thought to be the type of person who could save a city of 60,000 people, plus much cattle, but God chose to use him.
After he obeys God, goes into the city, which should take 3 days journey but it only takes him 1 day, proclaim God's judgement, he's angry because God has mercy on the people of Ninevah. The people of Ninevah quickly repented and fasted as opposed to Jonah, when God called him the first time. God had mercy on the both of them but, for some reason, Jonah is upset that God had mercy on Ninevah. He leaves the city to go pout and watches the city to see what God might do, but He does nothing... so Jonah is upset.
God allows a gourd to grow to extreme proportions and Jonah is happy again. Then the Lord allows a worm to decay the gourd and it withers. Jonah wakes up and begins to pout again.
Jonah is a selfish, spoil, brat! Easy for me to say eh? (sounds like "A") I'll be honest with you... Jonah irritates me. (lol) He's what we call an E.G.R. person= Extra Grace Required person.
I do praise God that Jonah irritates me because it allows me to search within my heart to see if some of Jonah's issues are found in my heart. From where I'm standing... sitting... I see how God showed His love and mercy for a fearful, distrusting, weak sinner and chose to use him to deliver THOUSANDS of people. I have not had the personal experience of the latter, I can only imagine what it would be like to bring 60,000 people to Christ! i wouldn't be pouting, I would be doing a dance similar to David's ... not a pretty sight may I add ... but the rejoicing would be so overwhelming that I would not be able to contain it. Having the honour of being used, a sinner like me, to bring 60,000 people to Christ! hELLo!
Snap out of it Jonah... (yeah, I know he can't hear me... lol)
There's three things I want to remember from Jonah:

1. Never be afraid to trust God
2. Never underestimate Hi provision
3. Always rejoice at the sight of God's mercy for me and especially for others
   

Which are you?

In my bible reading of the old testament, I started the book of Jonah chapter 1. It's a good thing it's a short chapter because God showed me six pages of my notebook worth of learning lessons from Jonah. I was really pierced with what He showed me, and hope it will be a help for you too.

It never pays to flee...
"Now the word of the LORD came unto Jonah...But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD"
Jonah is running away physically but also spiritually. He must not of realised that we must worship in truth and in spirit. If we expect to be able to just be physical with God, we need to expect that God will be physical with us.

Steps of what happened.

1. Lord talks to Jonah in his heart
2. Jonah's heart rejects it
3. Jonah, in the flesh, flees
4. God sends a storm to get Jonah's attention
5. The ships mariners are afraid for their life
6. Mariners prefer to save EVERYONE'S life
7. God is stronger, mariners throw Jonah overboard as he asks
8. Jonah is put into a whales belly, apart from everyone

vs. 4 Even the mariners were afraid and called unto their god, knowing it was a physical storm which was begun by something/someone spiritual. They acknowledge that the spiritual and physical are connected. (Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.")

vs. 5 "Then the mariners were afraid, and cried every man unto his god, and cast forth the wares that [were] in the ship into the sea, to lighten [it] of them. But Jonah was gone down into the sides of the ship; and he lay, and was fast asleep."
It's amazing how someone who decides to ignore God can really be able to block Him out completely! Jonah is able to sleep physically and spiritually, while the others who acknowledge that "a god" was angry and they had to do all they could to save the ship and themselves yet, here is Jonah, sleeping in the bottom of the ship. He hides where, I'm assuming, the storm is felt less.

My question...
Is Jonah doing anything wrong? Other than running from God... is he doing anything wrong?
No, there's nothing wrong with taking a trip. He could help upstairs but, he's not being outwardly wicked or sinful. This is a justification we and others often used to deny being away from God.

God is definitely trying to get His point across.

The ship masters go to Jonah and ask him to go to his God and ask for mercy on them.

My question...
Are we in a ship with other people? Our church is a ship with others in it, our family, your workplace, class etc. They are people who depend on us to have a right and good relationship with God, so we can go to Him when others need Him to grant mercy, help, guidance, provision, encouragement etc.
The people in our ship are depending on us to be walking with God, not hiding from Him.

Definition of hiding:

1. to conceal from sight; prevent from being seen or discovered
2. to obstruct the view of; cover up
3. to conceal from knowledge or exposure; keep secret

Synonyms: screen, mask, cloak, veil, shroud, disguise, dissemble, suppress.

vs. 9 & 10, Jonah knew who he was and who God was so... I'm not sure if Jonah saw the connection between his running from God and the storm that God was allowing; risking other people's life, just to get Jonah's attention. He was either in denial or not very intelligent, maybe just not spiritually mature.

vs. 12 Jonah suggests that they throw him overboard to calm the storm. He thinks it would be easier to die than have to obey God and walk daily with Him. Obviously, God disagrees.

vs. 13 The men cared more about this stranger, Jonah, than he did for them. They tried to row the ship (the family, the church etc.) without his help but God wanted Jonah's attention so they weren't able to bring the ship to shore.

vs. 15 Question...
Will it take the ship's people to throw us out into the sea for God to deal with us and not have others to be affected because of our distance towards Him?

God prepares a fish for Jonah, unfortunately, it's not for food to eat (lol) but to segregate him.

In the pit of the stomach of a whale... ewwww! Can you imagine the smell, the "gooeyness" of the moist flesh and food that he was surrounded with? The bile all over him.... I wonder if he STILL thought dying was easier than getting right with God and walking with Him (again verse 6 of the 3 proverbs) acknowledging Him in every step of his life.

What will it take God, to get our attention and just trust in Him, follow Him and walk the path He has for us as individuals? Will we put God in a position of having others in our ship, to suffer because of our hiding or avoiding God? Shame on us!

The "Hiding Place" was good for the Jews in the "Ten Boom" home but, as a child of God, there is no hiding place but in His bosom.

I need to pay attention to my "crew" and to my relationship with Christ.

Until Then...

I have a complex day happening; my heart is heavy yet I feel blessed beyond belief.
Three dear friends of mine, who love the Lord with all their heart, are going through some really though times.
One has always been faithful to God, loves and serves Him the best she can, but her marriage has been falling apart for years. Her husband, although a nice man when he chooses, has been very emotionally abusive towards her, the kids and even the pet. She seeks God daily to have strength to continue trying until her husband gets a hold of God. This has been a long haul for her.
My second friend also is a godly woman. Her daughter was hit by a passenger van while it was backing up. My friend is presently sitting at the side of her 6/7 year old daughter hospital bed of the children's hospital waiting for her precious daughter to receive God's healing. A lacerated liver, bruised lung and kidney keeps this child in limp and weak.
My third friend has been challenged by marital issues for many years, her daughter was in Haiti when they had their major earthquake but praise God she was ok and came back home fairly quickly. Just yesterday, my friend brought her daddy to the hospital for the third time where he died in the afternoon.
I am so burdened for these friends of mine that I can't stop thinking of them. God has an amazing way of showing Himself in the darkest of night though. During my prayer time, this morning, I lifted my friends up to Him and He show me how blessed I was to have friends who no matter the heat within the flames, they have not turned their back on Him or given up hope in Him.
As I ironed the clothes, I was listening to the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir via CD and their song "The Light Of That City" really spoke to my heart. Here are the lyrics.

IN this house we've built of make believe
Loved ones go long before, seems it's time to leave
We will learn how to grieve to forgive and receive
Till we see them there in that city

Span of stars overhead, as we walk this road
While this darkness remains I will bear your load
And together we will tend the seed He's sown.
As we walk along the road to that city

On that day we will sing, Holy, Holy
On that day we'll bow down in the light
And then we'll rise turn our eyes
To the Lord Jesus Christ on that day

Though my eyes can't see what it waiting there
Though my mind can't conceive all that He's prepared
There the blind will see the sun, what was old will be young
And the lame, they will run, all over the streets of that city

On that day we will sing, Holy, Holy
On that day we'll bow down in the light
And then we'll rise turn our eyes
To the Lord Jesus Christ on that day

One day, we will be in heaven to praise Him for His glory, until then, we have a work to do; not be overwhelmed by the cares of this world but seek those who are lost and tell them of the precious gift God has given us through His Son.

..."Until then...."