Have you ever been for a drive with someone that you felt the need to hold on? ... I have a friend of mine who likes speed. She especially likes driving in the snow storms. If she's reading this, she knows I'm talking about her, and those who know her; know I'm talking about her. LOL
I remember once, we had gone to our first homeschooling conference in Rothsay, NB. We were coming back from lunch, and she was talking to her DH on the cell phone. I recognized the road she had to turn on and noticed that she was not going to turn there. I softly said, "you need to turn here." so she quickly, (she has good reflexes), turned and I held on for my dear life. We still laugh about it now. Ya... I say still because, we laughed then too!
I've been learning to not have an anxious heart. Growing to a place where I can be content in whatever state I am. Being at peace with not being in control. Sounds good eh? Well, it's been a learning "curve" and I don't find it funny at all.
Crazy isn't it? My friend had no problem accepting my direction; better late than never.... yikes...scary in that case...lol, but she rolled with the punch and we laughed about it no matter how scary it was. Why can't we do that in life lessons?
What am I talking about?
I had another "melt down" yesterday. It was much smaller than the other two times and I went to the ones I offended to say sorry.
This might sound so crazy to some of you, but for me, this is my present life lesson.
In our living conditions, we have no running water because we are still in the RV and the hose froze. The RV toilet is frozen so we have the "chapeau" and the indoor toilet has a heater beside it so the water won't freeze and we'll not be able to flush it... it all sounds surreal and quite comical doesn't it. Well, because the reservoirs are frozen in the RV, I need to wash the dishes (which the water has the boil on the stove first) in a plastic container so that the water will not accumulate and bust the reservoir. That's when I lost it. I felt so controlled by my circumstance, the pride in me built up and exploded. Proverb 13:10, "Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." I then lost control of myself. I am ashamed, and only share this to maybe encourage someone else that they are not alone.
Although my circumstance is difficult, it was not long ago that all women faced these challenges with no hope of having indoor plumbing anytime soon. They did what they could, enjoyed their kids and didn't complain about it. How spoiled "we"'ve become.
Things ARE improving on the house. Most of the house is Typared (sealed with house wrap), both new doors are in, all the windows but one are in and my husband is working on the outside steps so he can take out the almost none operational door and place the last window, then Typar the back of the house.
The men for the heating system are here today, getting all the duct work figured out and starting to place the vents. Things are progressing.
I can only say that learning to trust God on a new level has been challenging for me. He warns me of the curve in the road and unfortunately, I resist turning on THAT road because I want to go my way. I think God would just rather I turn later than never and we could laugh about the close call of being on the wrong road. He just wants me to get to the destination.
Keep laughing.
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