I don't usually fret or worry because I know God's in control and I think positively. I'm not the one who will die of an ulcer. Not that you can die of that but anyway... ;)
I must although admit, that our living arrangements have been tough to "live" with at times. So far, I've had 2 melt downs, my last one being Saturday. I just got to a point where I felt emotionally and physically, claustrophobic. I felt drained and overwhelmed from the circumstances brought on by the renovation of the house. I was very emotional, irritable and snippy all day. I knew I was wrong to be this way with those I love but I let it overtake me.
On Friday, I went to a homeschooling meeting where I was able to borrow a book titled, "Calm My Anxious Heart" this is not my vocabulary but I knew that I could probably learn SOMETHING from someone else's experience. (There's that positive thinking again)
I read chapter one last night and looked at the lesson that went with it. I was amazed that although I am a positive person, I am anxious by definition. So many things I noted because it spoke to my heart for where I need to change my thought process.
It must really be something the Lord wants me to work on and have victory because our pastor spoke on just that last night. I'm so glad we go to both services, we have so much to learn!
Pastor talked about going to God's medicine cabinet, the bible, to get medicine, His direction and encouragement, to find joy. These are four points that pastor gave us through God's word.
- Be in God's word
- Give God thanks for the protection and provision He has given (have a thankful heart)
- Count your blessings
- Lead someone to Christ
In the book I'm reading, she mentions to go to God's word and memorize certain scriptures for a whole week, to pray and go through the different questions which I'm in the process of doing so I can learn to be content in whatever state I am. That's one of the scriptures I need to memorize this week. When the apostle Paul was in the prison, which is NOTHING like today's prisons, he wrote Philippians 4:11-13, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
One thing she said, which I am using to help me trust God, is constantly saying to God, "Lord, I trust the portion you are giving me."
She used the analogy of a cup of tea. Some people are a beautiful teacup with flowers and golden rim, some are a large sturdy one, some are a tiny portion cup. God created us and knows what is the portion we can handle and when He chooses to give us a certain portion in life, and we choose to complain, fret, worry or have a "melt down", we are telling God we do not agree that this is a proper portion for us.
I've decided to accept whatever portion God gives me and trust Him for today, knowing that tomorrow belongs to Him and that I need to focus on today.
Well, I've said lots, yet it has engraved itself in my mind by rehearsing it today.
I hope you are trusting God for the portion He has chosen to give you as the day progresses... even if the temporary toilet overflows... ya... my portion, I accept.
Keep trusting.
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