This morning, with still the news of the bear in my mind, I went for my run. I would continually pray about God's will, if I should go or not because honestly, I was scared. I kept telling myself that I needed to have faith that He would take care of me like He's done thus far.
I went, and made it to the edge of where the forest starts and saw on my right side a trail in the long grass, where "something" had walked and entered into the wooded area. I kept running and tried to have faith but my fear was greater. I turned around and decided to run not jog and get MJ, our dog. This way, I might not run (jog) as far as usual (5km) but I would get a good stiff run. I got MJ and headed back on the road.
MJ was excited! She ran! Ya, not jogged but ran. I ran with her and once we got to the wooded area, just a little past where I had turned around, she wanted to go in the ditch. I didn't want to wrestle about it so we turned around knowing that she needs time to get trained to go running with me.
We ran back and every time a car came she would sit on the side of the road. There were 3 cars on separate occasions... much training needed needless to say.
So we got home, out of breath, and sweating! I was disappointed that I did not have enough faith to do my whole run but I did the best I could, still got a workout and so did MJ.
As for what the Lord showed me in His word, in Joel 2:13, I read, "Rend your heart, and not your garments". It reminded me of a scripture in Proverbs 15:8, "The sacrifice of the wicked [is] an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright [is] his delight." We tend to over complicate things sometimes.
I am a "To Do List" person and because I like ordering my day that way, I tend to do that in my everyday walk with the Lord sometimes. I become more mechanical if you will. I go through my routine, and although I am spending time with God daily and keeping my mind on Him, as most as my flesh is focused for those moments, I can sometimes just go through the motions.
God wants us to just simplify things. Like the two men who went to prayer. One had a long eloquent prayer and the other just prayed with the sincerity of his heart. That's all God wants from us. He would rather we soften our heart toward Him and love Him sincerely, than do all these amazing things, but they be done with a hard and cold heart.
You know though, this is harder than the latter. Doing can be sometimes easier than taking the time to be right before God and have a soft, malleable heart.
As my day goes forward, I'll be thinking about my lack of faith but also that having a sincere relationship with God is truly the most rewarding and needed thing. God knows that I am afraid and that I am a weak human being who fears a torturous death.
Today was a stepping stone and Monday will be another one, maybe I'll run further (I am not sure where the bear came out).
God is merciful and He just wants our hearts to be sincere towards Him and our life be dependant on Him. It's hard sometimes but He is longsuffering and patient. Ahhh... to be more like Him. Selah.
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